WOUNDS FROM THE PAST

All of us carry wounds from the past. We may or may not be conscious of them. Either way, they inhibit our ability to embrace life. If we want more of life's blessings, we need to heal our wounds -- our repressed emotions and old patterns and limiting beliefs.

How do we identify these wounds? We can dig deep into our memory banks in an effort to uncover the experiences that first brought us pain and trauma. Or we can address our pain when it surfaces in daily living.

The past makes itself known to us in the present. We get clues about subconscious issues when we become aware that we are uncomfortable, in distress or pain. Pain is there for a reason: to make us conscious of what is presently unconscious in us. If we become aware that we are tense, angry, resentful or afraid, for example, we know something is calling for our attention. Unhappy memories from the past are being triggered. We have the opportunity to heal the past by dealing with our discomfort in this moment.

We grow by moving into and through pain, not away from it. That's the only way we can learn from it. And so we grow by embracing those qualities we instinctively want to resist. Our aim is to embrace the 'bad' and the 'good' in wholeness. How do we do this? By bringing love into the situation and by using the power of imagination to see a bigger picture.

 History is a story told over time. It is a way of recreating the past so it can be studied in the present and re-interpreted for future generations. Since humans are the sole beneficiaries of history, it is important for us to know what the purpose of history is and how historians include their own perspective concerning historical events. The purpose and perspective of history is vital in order for individuals to realise how it would be almost impossible for us to live out our lives effectively if we had no knowledge of the past. Also, History puts human experience in context, and allows us to understand ourselves as a people and a culture. It gives us a frame of reference to consider the possible future(s) ahead of us. It helps us understand past triumphs and tragedies, and gives us the tools to try and succeed where others have failed. History is interesting; it’s a way to see how far our world has come.  Haven’t you ever heard the saying “if history isn’t remembered it will repeat itself?”.” If you want to know where we as, Ghanaians are going, ask us where we've been."

The Purpose of Our Past

The purpose of our past is to explain the present – to say why the world around us is the way it is. Our past tells is what is important in our world and how it came to be. It tells us why the things we value are the things we should value. And it tells us what is to be ignored or discarded. That is true power, profound power. The power to define a new society.  In order to gain a sound knowledge of the past, we have to understand the political, social and cultural aspects of the times we are studying.

In What is History, Alan Bullock believes that history is an attempt to explain the sequence and connections of events. He believes that "History is to explain why...it is not to explain why they had to follow, but why they did in fact follow." It is believed by Bullock that history is taken apart and is put together by an historian, so that it may yield new evidence that will teach us a lesson from the past in order to become more aware of the future. This connective account helps us "get inside the skin of this man or group of men."

Let me share with my readers how John Robson a renowned author and playwright uses the 4 E’s as a healing process for all human beings.

A Healing Process: The 4 E's

The 4 E's give a basic framework for working with any challenges that arise so we may more easily learn our lessons and let them go.

1. Experience your reality.

Be aware of how you are feeling and allow yourself to experience your reality. We cannot heal something we have not yet owned! So really feel what's happening in your body. Feel the emotions. Be aware of what you are thinking. Honor your experience by being present to it! What is it telling you?

2. Elevate and expand your perspectives.

Become an impartial but loving witness to your own personality's experience. The key here is detachment. Elevate your perspective so you can see what's going on without being swallowed up by it. As a witness to your own experience, do not judge, criticize, condemn or commiserate -- just watch with compassion. From this perspective, ask yourself, "What am I being invited to learn?" When we glimpse the answer to this question, we find purpose in our suffering.

3. Embrace the lower and higher qualities together in wholeness.

Identify the negative qualities that are challenging you, like fear, anger, doubt, jealousy, despair or grief. Then identify the opposite positive qualities. For example, the opposite of fear may be courage or love. The opposite of doubt may be faith. If this is a challenge for you, consider what you would prefer to be feeling. If you're feeling angry, you might prefer to feel peaceful.

Now use your imagination to sit with both qualities of the duality at the same time. (I imagine myself as a loving or courageous grandparent hugging the distressed part of me.) Recognize that both qualities are part of the same spectrum of experience. You cannot have one without the other. Together, they create wholeness. Also recognize that a part of you always has access to the higher energy. That's what we have to learn. Trust that this experience of wholeness heals.

4. Express to anchor your experience.

Anything you can do to reinforce the healing will strengthen the integration. For example, you might:
• write about your experience in your journal.
• meditate on your experience.
• share your insights with someone you trust.
• express forgiveness to yourself and/or others.

Any effort to affirm accepting the 'bad' and the 'good' in wholeness will support a shift in consciousness.

This simple process is powerful. Some degree of healing always occurs. It teaches us to acknowledge rather than resist our discomfort. It helps us abandon our need to be perfect and become authentic instead. It connects us to the higher qualities that are always available to us. It brings unconditional love to situations where love is typically absent. It helps us accept, forgive, and love ourselves. And this is the essential first step before we can accept, forgive, and love others.

Take time to learn the process by repeatedly doing the following exercise. Once you become familiar with the steps, you will be able to apply them on the spot, when you become aware that you are upset in some way. The more you explore and release the irritations and suffering that naturally arise daily, the more you will heal the past. Life will open up for you as your personality blossoms from your own unconditional love.

EXERCISE: Learn the 4 E's Healing Process

Find some quiet time where you won't be disturbed. Recall a recent experience that upset you. Close your eyes and use your memory to relive that scenario. When you're ready, begin to work through the first 3 steps: Experience, Elevate or expand your perspectives and Embrace. When the pain of the memory has eased, gently and slowly bring your consciousness to the present and then take some action to Express what you've learned.

Cultivating Your Self-Esteem

Your self-esteem is probably the most important part of your personality. It precedes and predicts your performance in almost everything you do. It is the energy source or the reactor core of your personality, and how much self-esteem you have determines your levels of vitality, enthusiasm and personal magnetism. People with high self-esteem are more positive, more likable and more effective in every part of their lives.

Everything that you do or say or think will affect your self-esteem. Your job, therefore, is to keep your self-esteem high and positive on a continuing basis.

Probably the best definition of self-esteem is this: the level to which you respect and value yourself as an important, worthwhile person. People with high self-esteem feel terrific about themselves and their lives. When you feel really good about yourself, you tend to be the very best person you can possibly be.

To perform at your best and to feel terrific about yourself, you should be in a perpetual state of self-esteem building and maintenance. Just as you take responsibility for your level of physical fitness, you need to take complete responsibility for the content and quality of your mind.

I have developed a simple formula that contains all the critical elements of self-esteem building, and you can use it on a regular basis to assure maximum performance.

This formula is comprised of six basic elements. They are: goals, standards, success experiences, comparison with others, recognition, and rewards. Let's take them one at a time.

How much you like and respect yourself is directly affected by your goals. The very act of setting big, challenging goals for yourself and making written plans of action to achieve them actually raises your self-esteem, which causes you to feel much better about yourself.

Self-esteem is a condition you experience when you are moving step-by-step toward the accomplishment of something that is important to you. For that reason, it's really important to have clear goals for each part of your life and to continually work toward achieving those goals. Each progressive step causes your self-esteem to go up and makes you feel more positive and effective in everything else you do.

The second element in self-esteem building is having clear standards and values to which you are committed. Men and women with high self-esteem are very clear about what they believe in. The higher your values and ideals are, and the more committed you are to living your life consistent with those values and ideals, the more you will like and respect yourself, and the higher your self-esteem will be.

Lasting self-esteem comes only when your goals and your values are congruent--that is, when they fit into each other like a hand into a glove. Much of the stress that people experience comes from believing one thing and trying to do another. But when your goals and values are in harmony with each other, you feel a wonderful surge of energy and well-being, and that's when you start to make real progress.

Many people tell me that they are unhappy with their job because they can't seem to achieve success no matter how hard they try. I always ask them if they are doing what they really care about and believe in. In many cases, people realize that they are not happy with their job because it is the wrong kind of work for them. Once they change jobs and start doing something that they really enjoy, something that is more consistent with their innermost convictions, they start to make real progress and get a lot of satisfaction out of their work.

The third element in self-esteem building involves having success experiences. Once you have set your goals and standards, it is important that you make them measurable so that you can keep score of your small and large successes along the way. The very act of setting up a goal, breaking it down into smaller parts, and then completing those parts makes you feel like a winner and causes your self-esteem to go up. But remember that you can't hit a target you can't see. You can't feel like a winner unless you clearly lay out the standards by which you are going to measure your success and then achieve those standards.

The fourth element of self-esteem is comparison with others. The more you know about how well the others in your field are doing, and the more favorably you compare with them, the more you will feel like a winner, and the higher your self-esteem will be.

Successful people continually compare themselves with other successful people. They think about them and read about them and study their performances, and then they work to surpass them one step at a time. Eventually, successful people reach the point where they compete only with themselves and with their past accomplishments. But this comes after they have moved to the top and left many of their competitors behind.

The next element for self-esteem is recognition of your accomplishments by people whom you respect. To feel really great about yourself, you need the recognition of people you look up to and admire, such as your boss, your coworkers, your spouse and people in your social circle. Whenever you are recognized and praised for any accomplishment by someone whose opinion you hold in high regard, your self-esteem goes up, along with your eagerness and enthusiasm to do even better on the job.

The final element of self-esteem involves rewards that are consistent with your accomplishments. You may work in a field where you receive financial bonuses, status symbols--larger offices, bigger cars--or even plaques and trophies for superior achievement. All of those symbols can have an incredible impact on raising your self-esteem and causing you to feel terrific about yourself.

If, however, your existing situation does not offer the tangible or intangible rewards that are necessary for you to build and maintain your self-esteem, you must create rewards for yourself. One of the smartest things you can do is to design a system for giving yourself rewards for both small and large accomplishments as you move progressively toward your goals. For example, people who do telephone prospecting will often treat themselves to a cup of coffee after every 10 calls. After 25 calls, they will reward themselves with a walk around the building or the block. After 50 calls, they will go out to lunch. Each of those rewards serves as an incentive that motivates them to repeat the performance. The end result is success, enthusiasm, and high self-esteem.

Whether or not your current environment provides the six elements of self-esteem; building--goals, standards, success experiences, comparison with others, recognition, and rewards--you need to establish your own structure and take full responsibility for building yourself up on a regular basis.

The only real way for you to absolutely know that you are a valuable and worthwhile person is for you to make the effort, overcome the obstacles and pay the price to bring these elements into your life. When you have that foundation, you will experience a form of mental fitness and unshakable optimism that will sustain you through failure and propel you to success. A good food for thought, don’t you see?

By His Grace, I shall be back